res•pite (res′ pit)

I have always been intrigued by near-death experiences.  One common element in the stories of NDEs is the feeling of being outside the body, usually floating above it.  The return to the body, when the person chooses life over death, is notable.  People describe re-entry as being like putting on a "clunky" suit of clothes, heavy and cumbersome, complete with aches and pains and a feeling of immobility.  I have always been able to imagine this re-entry very clearly, and believe there are many similar moments in our lives.  In fact, our family just had one.  It is a pretty common occurrence.  It's called "coming home from vacation."

The time when a person is suspended, outside the body, feeling free and easy and able to see his body and his surroundings from a more objective perspective?   That's respite.

Vacation and respite are similar, but not synonymous.  Respite is more than a scheduled getaway.  It is defined this way by Webster's New World Dictionary:  "delay or postponement, temporary relief, as from pain or work."

I had that clunky re-entry feeling when I woke up the morning after we returned from our weeklong jaunt out west.  Yes, part of that feeling may have been due to the fact that we had pulled into our garage at 4:30 am after a grueling 30 hour drive, absolutely exhausted.  But it was also because while we were away, we not only didn't have any pressing responsibility, but I think we actually FORGOT that we ever HAD any such responsibilities.  May all your vacations be so lovely!

When I describe our week to you, you won't understand why it was respite, probably.  It isn't for everyone; we know this!

It begins with the 7 kids (+2 adults)  all piled into the car with pillows, blankets, and a week's supply of clothing and lots of snacks--gear for a 28 hour straight-through drive.

We have reached our destination when we get to the home of our great lifelong friends, who also have 7 children.  There are 18+ people living in their home while we are with them.  Is it chaotic?  Oh my, yes.  Do we look happy?  Rhetorical question.

What kind of people are these amazing friends who readily welcome us into their home, absorbing our chaos and melding it with theirs?  They are, firstly, kind.  They are also fantastic multi-taskers.  Witness the scene above.  There are so many many things going on, ALWAYS!

We have much in common with this family, including a sick love of raw cookie-dough.  Here they are, beginning to consume  Shumway-size servings of the gooey food of the gods.  Kathy didn't finish hers, to tell you the truth, but her son did!  We stayed up way too late each night, just like this, mostly sitting, talking, eating, laughing, and watching impromptu talent shows. (see my post on languor)

Here we are at their son's high school football game.  He scored a touchdown!!!   Included in this picture are my two brothers (although one of them is the photographer) and my sweet sister-in-law.  What a lovely bunch of people--our friends and our family, who will so graciously agree to spend time ALL together, so that we can maximize our short stay!

We said a tearful and joyful farewell to G-ma, who is headed off to Germany for an 18-month mission.  We left at 5:30 am to take her to the airport, thus the jammies on little George.  My brother spent his time with us quizzing the children, giving candy as a reward for a correct answer.  He simultaneously campaigned for "best uncle," made the kids feel smarter, and kept us all entertained.  (See "avuncular" post)

We visited Charles's family, too.  His sister and her daughters always welcome us so warmly.    Her youngest, Kacie, is in a residential facility in a "getting better" phase of her life.  The kids truly enjoyed spending time with her.

We also had to say goodbye to Lola, back for her 2nd year of college.   Escorting her back to school was our excuse for this weeklong odyssey.  I think it may have been harder for me to let her go this year than it was last year!

We ran around the Edwards Stadium field.  Not a single other soul in sight.

Always inspiring to us, the Salt Lake Temple looked so dignified on this brilliant day!

There are lots of others pictures I didn't post.  We had a lovely picnic at the home of the parents of our Michigan friends which we thoroughly enjoyed!  Another friend took time off of work to give us a tour of the Church Office building and Temple Square,  and we then got a tour of their new home and a brief visit.  Such good people! We spent relaxed time with my mom, two of my younger brothers and my sister-in-law, in my brother's home.  We ate together and watched America's Funniest Home Videos, our favorite!

So, it was a week (just one!)  which contained 60 hours in the car, too many people in crowded homes,  juggling time with family and friends, mundane activities like eating and playing around the house, a visit to an ailing relative, and many bittersweet farewells.  We didn't see half of the people we wish we could have seen.  How on earth could this be considered respite?

Well, here it is.  Our friends and family took care of us, in all the important ways.  They spent time with us and seemed to enjoy it.  They laughed at the same old jokes that we laugh at.  We ate good food together.  They listened as we told of our heartaches and achievements, and wanted to share with us some of theirs.  By doing so,  they reminded us who we really are, and what we value.  

It's also important, really important, to acknowledge the elation we feel at being in Utah Valley.  Everywhere you look (with the exception of a few billboards) there are reminders that the majority of people here are trying really hard to be good Mormons:  to raise strong families, to treat everyone with Christlike kindness, to be honest.  They don't always succeed, not any more often than anyone ALWAYS succeeds.  But they're trying, and you can see it everywhere.

On that long drive home, in that suspension between vacation and real life, the kids never fought.  They talked and laughed together.  And my mind was infused with ideas about how wonderful things were going to be back at home.  How much better I am going to be, and exactly how and why I should be better.  I felt like a person suspended above her life, having been given a break from it's clunky and cumbersome aspects, a vision of wonderful things to come, a respite. 

Us, in one last snapshot before we begin our drive home. 

*Next time I'll post Kathy's bread recipe and Jeff's salsa recipe--2 GREAT takeaways from our time with them.